Self Compassion and COVID-19

Whitney Koch Owens, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Owner, The Evidence Based Practice of Nevada

In the past two weeks, life as we know it has changed drastically.  For many of us, the COVID-19 pandemic has shifted our work lives to working from home.  For others, the pandemic has changed the way we do our jobs and live day to day.  With so many changes happening at once, we are experiencing an increase in stress, uncertainty, and perhaps even grief or despair.  Our emotions may be much more intense, rapidly changing, and confusing.  One moment, you may feel relief at having the pace of life shift for a bit.  The next moment you may feel helpless, hopeless, and anxious. 

It is easy to get overwhelmed with the newfound changes in your daily life.  Some of us have found ourselves working a full-time job, becoming our children’s favorite teacher, and taking on the responsibility of managing operations at home.  On top of these responsibilities, we have to take care of the ever-changing landscape of our emotional experience.  Managing our emotions takes patience, time, work, and skill.  Even when life is “normal,” responding effectively to our emotions takes effort.  During increased periods of stress, it may take significant effort to work with your emotions.

I often tell my patients that our emotions are gifts.  Emotions provide us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment.  If we respond to our emotions with care and compassion, we have an opportunity to learn and grow, as well as respond effectively to difficult situations.  Dr. Kristen Neff, a top researcher on self-compassion, states that self-compassion involves acknowledging that pain is present, and responding with care and concern for your suffering.  When we employ self-compassion in difficult times, we allow ourselves to be in the present experience, rather than escaping and avoiding reality.   Acknowledging the truth of our emotions gives us access to the ability to effectively cope with even the most painful of emotions. 

With social distancing and quarantine recommendations, you may be finding yourself without your personal favorite ways of coping.  Luckily, the things that help us regulate our emotions most effectively are readily at our fingertips.  To set the stage for a baseline level of healthy emotional functioning, we need to take care of our physical health, move our bodies, get enough sleep, balance our eating, avoid alcohol and drugs, and find one thing to do every day that we can improve upon.  To create a positive emotion, do at least one thing daily that you enjoy.  If you are taking care of your physical body, handling the emotions in your body will feel a lot more manageable. 

Remember to take time each day to take care of yourself and your emotions.  While this pandemic will not last forever, your long-lasting compassionate relationship with yourself can.

REFERENCES

Neff, Kristin D., and Dahm, Katie A. (In Press) Self-Compassion: What it is, what it does, and how it relates to mindfulness. https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/Mindfulness_and_SC_chapter_in_press.pdf